Failing at Everything...

Not really failing at everything just trying really hard to get this figured out. I'm not sure what the hell I'm doing. I think I explained it to Brian last night very well, I feel like I'm at this place in my life where I'm doing exactly what I promised myself I wouldn't end up doing. I pushed myself so hard to get into Knox and to get through it because I made the promise that I would not end up in this dead-end, going-nowhere job. I've just come to loathe it and all I want is to get out as soon as possible. Perhaps that's what spurred my unending need to get my resume out and just keep applying to new jobs. It's disheartening to do it though. Cause I'm just reminded of my whole last summer and Portland and just that whole awful mess, that I'm just both excited and terrified of going through this process because I had such horrible luck last summer.

It's always kind of scary putting yourself back out there and that is exactly what I'm doing right now. I'm glad I'm pushing myself more because I haven't in a long time and I kind of need to before I just get too timid to do it. I need to continue this big risk-taking adventure I'm so adamant about right now. I just need to keep pushing.