Shifting Up and Over

I received an email today from the co-director of the program I'm applying for at the University of Glasgow. He told me he was very intrigued by my research and that he wanted to talk to me soon about the program and me possibly attending. I honestly am still in shock slightly from it. I just cannot believe that someone in that position could possibly be intrigued by my research. It makes me feel really really good. Now I'm just nervous about talking to him and really actually starting this whole process, but as nervous as I may be, I'm really really excited.

There is definitely a shift happening. I'm definitely pushing myself more and putting myself out there again. It's slow, and it's going to be a slow process but I'm ready to move on from all that's happened in the past 12 months. I'm definitely taking my skydiving experience as a symbol of my letting go. Next Saturday I'm going to let go of everything that's happened and just fall, trusting in the fact that something will catch me before I hit the ground. I'm going alone because I feel it fitting to really take this action alone. I've dealt with a lot of things over the past 12 months and for the last 5 of them I've been going at it alone and this whole experience I'm about to have is going to be the culmination of a lot of time and heartache. I can't wait. It feels incredibly freeing and I honestly do think I'm going to walk away from it changed. I think this mindset I've been back and forth in for the past 2 months is finally going to settle itself for me. I'm finally going to let go and give up on the things that aren't worth fighting for anymore.

I haven't been given any reason to keep fighting except my own personal overly-romantic and idealistic reasons and next weekend I'm going to jump and leave that behind me. 23 isn't just going to be a number, it's going to be a new way of life. Wow, how corny does that sound? I just feel it's going to ring incredibly true. I think I'm going to go through a lot and come out changed when I leave that airport next Saturday. I'm going to be pumped, I'm going to be absolutely terrified, I'm going to be in disbelief and shock, but I'm going to be there and I'm going to go through with it.