I have this notion

I'm pretty sure if I do honestly end up in Scotland for grad school I might not ever come back. If I do, it probably wouldn't be for a good 5 years. I'm very excited at this prospect and talking with the Co-Convenor of the program I'm looking into doing is pretty amazing. Just the fact that he's excited about my research. I haven't really had that in awhile and it kind of makes me excited to get back to it.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about some things right now. All I know is that I haven't felt this secure about myself and my choices in my life. It's strange to think that I am an adult but when I actually look back on some of the things and experiences I have had, I realize I am really turning into one. I know I still have several years before I can consider myself a true adult, but it feels good to know that I'm on the right track with it all. The best part is the amount of uncertainty and just complete flexibility there is with what's about to happen. I look forward to the mistakes, regrets, and heartbreaks I have yet to go through because I know with that carries moments of utter happiness, sheer contentment and joy, with each time being better than the one before it. It's haunting but alluring all at the same time. I guess that's really the best way I can describe the first year post-collegian.