For Better or Worse

I want to be someone different. Who hasn't? This whole process is just absolutely exhausting. I want something different, something new. I can't stay focused for more than a minute. My mind constantly wanders somewhere else. I can't stop thinking about you and about us. I want to be able to leave it behind and let it all go but I can't. I haven't been able to as much as I've tried and I know that it takes time but I think a part of me doesn't want to. I don't want it but I do.

What do I do? Do I let it go? Do I hang on to something that will probably never work. I don't know and I don't think I'll ever really come to that conclusion without really putting it all out there. Except I'm not sure if I'm ready to do that either. I'm ready for a do-over. I really wish that was possible right now.