I'm going to streamline this update, if for no other reason, than it's fun for me.
NEW:
-Got my passport & plane ticket: I leave for Scotland 09/09/09 (kinda weird).
-Moving back to Chicago at the end of this month, just for the summer, to spend time with Brian & live it up a little before I head out of the country for god knows how long
-Preparing for summer the only way I know how: working out like a maniac so as not to be a fatty fat
-On a whim on Wednesday I decided I was going to go on a 3 day mini-tour with Conor Oberst & the Mystic Valley Band this summer so from June 26th - July 1st I will be on the road with CO and driving through Missouri & Kentucky & then back home. (SIDENOTE: the new CO & the MVB album came out Tuesday = AHHHH-mazing)
That might be the only new news I have for now. Things have been chugging along pretty quickly the past few months. It's been quite a whirlwind and I have no doubt it will only be speeding up as this month hurries along into June and summer. 4 months left til I leave (almost exactly). Any advice for me, now's the time to provide it because I could use it.
08 May, 2009
08 March, 2009
Spring has sprung...
The rains have hit Chicago along with weather above the 30's. I love March, it's always the month where Spring starts to push it's way through the door and winter is forced to take a back seat. Eventually, I would really like to see winter just shoved out the door and do a tuck & roll in the middle of the Mojave never to be seen or heard from again, but alas, there's no such luck.
6 more months til I'm out of here. It's slowly becoming more real. Applying for financial aide has been a headache, but hopefully it will be done by the end of the month and I'll be able to finally rest easy knowing I'm more in debt but Glasgow is paid for.
I have a feeling the next 6 months are going to fly by and I'm not going to know what to do with myself. The past 2 years have been an uphill battle from the very beginning and there have been quite a few people that use to be in my life that didn't make it easy to get through it all but they've left for the most part and as unfortunate as it is to have your trust continually broken by people who meant a lot, it's easier now. I feel like the storm has finally past and the sweet smells of spring are just around the corner. Longer days are here & so are warmer weather and thunderstorms. It's hard not to smile.
Next weekend is St. Patrick's Day, well, the celebration, the actual day is the Tuesday after. I'm running my first marathon on Saturday in St. Louis. I'm nervous but it's only a 5 miles run and though I don't think I'll be able to run the entire thing, just being able to run half or 3/4 will be fine by me. Wish me luck, I'm going to need it.
6 more months til I'm out of here. It's slowly becoming more real. Applying for financial aide has been a headache, but hopefully it will be done by the end of the month and I'll be able to finally rest easy knowing I'm more in debt but Glasgow is paid for.
I have a feeling the next 6 months are going to fly by and I'm not going to know what to do with myself. The past 2 years have been an uphill battle from the very beginning and there have been quite a few people that use to be in my life that didn't make it easy to get through it all but they've left for the most part and as unfortunate as it is to have your trust continually broken by people who meant a lot, it's easier now. I feel like the storm has finally past and the sweet smells of spring are just around the corner. Longer days are here & so are warmer weather and thunderstorms. It's hard not to smile.
Next weekend is St. Patrick's Day, well, the celebration, the actual day is the Tuesday after. I'm running my first marathon on Saturday in St. Louis. I'm nervous but it's only a 5 miles run and though I don't think I'll be able to run the entire thing, just being able to run half or 3/4 will be fine by me. Wish me luck, I'm going to need it.
02 February, 2009
Spring is in the air...ok, not really
I wish spring was right around the corner but I guess I'll have to settle for 5 days up in beautiful NoCal seeing the redwoods and the ocean, oh darn. 10 days left til that great adventure begins. I'm excited to say the least.
We had our Black Tie banquet for work over the weekend. My dear friend Eric was my date and what a handsome lush of a date he was...though I have no room to talk. When your rich boss says "hey, fucking open bar" you don't ask questions, you just start ordering. 8 drinks later, it's time to go home and well, it's tricky. Eric, being the good drunk, went to bed. I, being the bad drunk, headed to the gay bars with Tony and proceeded to drink my way to stupid. It was a good night, I didn't make too big of an ass out of myself AND I didn't break my camera. All in all, good night.
The months are ticking down and Scotland is now closer than ever. 7 months til Glasgow. I cannot believe I'm actually going. It's strange. It's weird to think that this is the last February I'll spend here (I'm not complaining, I can't wait to get the fuck out of the midwestern winters). I'm excited. I'm excited to finally take the plunge into something that will end up being life-changing.
I have nothing more to discuss. That little fucker ground hog saw his shadow and thus we supposedly have 6 more weeks of winter. I still don't understand that whole tradition and why it matters, but meh, I'm going to California, so really, I don't care. I swear I'll finally start to post flickr pictures. I'm just lazy.
We had our Black Tie banquet for work over the weekend. My dear friend Eric was my date and what a handsome lush of a date he was...though I have no room to talk. When your rich boss says "hey, fucking open bar" you don't ask questions, you just start ordering. 8 drinks later, it's time to go home and well, it's tricky. Eric, being the good drunk, went to bed. I, being the bad drunk, headed to the gay bars with Tony and proceeded to drink my way to stupid. It was a good night, I didn't make too big of an ass out of myself AND I didn't break my camera. All in all, good night.
The months are ticking down and Scotland is now closer than ever. 7 months til Glasgow. I cannot believe I'm actually going. It's strange. It's weird to think that this is the last February I'll spend here (I'm not complaining, I can't wait to get the fuck out of the midwestern winters). I'm excited. I'm excited to finally take the plunge into something that will end up being life-changing.
I have nothing more to discuss. That little fucker ground hog saw his shadow and thus we supposedly have 6 more weeks of winter. I still don't understand that whole tradition and why it matters, but meh, I'm going to California, so really, I don't care. I swear I'll finally start to post flickr pictures. I'm just lazy.
21 January, 2009
What a New Year
I am prepared to never speak of 2008 again, unless it's to explain how that year took a shit on me, repeatedly, over the span of it's entirety as a year. Though 2009 has only been about for 21 days, I'm prepared to say that it is, by and far, a better year than 2008.
New Years was exceptionally fantastic. Getting to spend it with 2 of the most important women in my life. I just came back from a long weekend in Iowa City seeing 2 other of my closest and dearest friends. I'm pleased with how this year is shaping up, minus finding out my ex-room mate stole my half of our security deposit and would never have said anything to me had I not done my own investigating. I have so much to look forward to it makes me smile. Besides Obama becoming president yesterday, I'm going to the big Cali to see the Redwoods in February. I've never seen these giant trees and I'm very excited to do so. I'm heading back to Iowa City in March to visit Ben & Karlina again as well as finish the tattoo I started.
Glasgow is 8 months away. I'm trying to get in as much traveling and seeing of people before I go. As terrified as I am about everything, I'm more excited than anything else and I cannot wait for it.
My lack of updates tend to prove how happy I am and how little I have to complain...I mean, talk about. I'll end here. 2009 is already shaping up to be a better year. Pictures of my new tattoo to come shortly.
New Years was exceptionally fantastic. Getting to spend it with 2 of the most important women in my life. I just came back from a long weekend in Iowa City seeing 2 other of my closest and dearest friends. I'm pleased with how this year is shaping up, minus finding out my ex-room mate stole my half of our security deposit and would never have said anything to me had I not done my own investigating. I have so much to look forward to it makes me smile. Besides Obama becoming president yesterday, I'm going to the big Cali to see the Redwoods in February. I've never seen these giant trees and I'm very excited to do so. I'm heading back to Iowa City in March to visit Ben & Karlina again as well as finish the tattoo I started.
Glasgow is 8 months away. I'm trying to get in as much traveling and seeing of people before I go. As terrified as I am about everything, I'm more excited than anything else and I cannot wait for it.
My lack of updates tend to prove how happy I am and how little I have to complain...I mean, talk about. I'll end here. 2009 is already shaping up to be a better year. Pictures of my new tattoo to come shortly.
13 December, 2008
Scotland 2009
I am going to the University of Glasgow next fall. I was accepted. It's hard to believe but I was and I'm going. It's still kind of shocking. I've been talking about it for so long and it's actually happening. I'm ecstatic for the experience and that I'm finally feeling back on track with the things I wanted to do. It's a great feeling.
It's been snowing quite a bit. Right now it's raining. I really hate winter here. I realize I say it a lot but I really honestly do. I get the sad every year at this time. I need to move to a place where this doesn't happen. Where it doesn't snow 5 feet and get down to below 0. It's true that Chicago gets colder than Siberia at this time of year. I've weather.com'd that shit. The UK may be rainy, but it sure beats horribly cold and snowy/sleety/icy/rainy.
I'm going to miss Chicago. It's been pretty amazing rediscovering a city I've grown up with. Working downtown is pretty much an odd dream-come-true. Not that I've spent my life dreaming of working downtown, but I've thought about what it would be like to do so since I was young. To be one of those people who walks around downtown and works in a high-rise. It's bizarre. Probably because though I spent a lot of time thinking about what it would be like, I never actually thought I'd get to experience it so that's been kind of unreal and fun. I'll miss Chicago but I doubt I'll ever return for good. I'm having too much fun trying to figure out other cities. It will always be home though, I'll say that much.
10 more months and I'm leaving. I'm not sure when I'll actually be back. I don't think it will be until summer of 2010. I just want as much time abroad as possible. 3 years doesn't seem like enough time either. As weird as it may be, but it doesn't. I feel like once I'm gone, there's no stopping me from keeping going except myself. I want to see Europe but I also want to get in as much as the world as possible. I can't wait for Dubai and Cairo or Kiev and St. Petersburg. I have 3 years to explore it all and it's not enough time. It's silly, but it's important.
I'm painting again. That's been really nice. I was writing a lot but I've been writer's blocked for awhile so I started to paint again. Perhaps I will post pictures of the new work, but I also realize I always say that, and I don't follow-through. I guess we'll see.
It's been snowing quite a bit. Right now it's raining. I really hate winter here. I realize I say it a lot but I really honestly do. I get the sad every year at this time. I need to move to a place where this doesn't happen. Where it doesn't snow 5 feet and get down to below 0. It's true that Chicago gets colder than Siberia at this time of year. I've weather.com'd that shit. The UK may be rainy, but it sure beats horribly cold and snowy/sleety/icy/rainy.
I'm going to miss Chicago. It's been pretty amazing rediscovering a city I've grown up with. Working downtown is pretty much an odd dream-come-true. Not that I've spent my life dreaming of working downtown, but I've thought about what it would be like to do so since I was young. To be one of those people who walks around downtown and works in a high-rise. It's bizarre. Probably because though I spent a lot of time thinking about what it would be like, I never actually thought I'd get to experience it so that's been kind of unreal and fun. I'll miss Chicago but I doubt I'll ever return for good. I'm having too much fun trying to figure out other cities. It will always be home though, I'll say that much.
10 more months and I'm leaving. I'm not sure when I'll actually be back. I don't think it will be until summer of 2010. I just want as much time abroad as possible. 3 years doesn't seem like enough time either. As weird as it may be, but it doesn't. I feel like once I'm gone, there's no stopping me from keeping going except myself. I want to see Europe but I also want to get in as much as the world as possible. I can't wait for Dubai and Cairo or Kiev and St. Petersburg. I have 3 years to explore it all and it's not enough time. It's silly, but it's important.
I'm painting again. That's been really nice. I was writing a lot but I've been writer's blocked for awhile so I started to paint again. Perhaps I will post pictures of the new work, but I also realize I always say that, and I don't follow-through. I guess we'll see.
23 November, 2008
To Keep Warm...
The sharp cold has reached Chicago and we're officially submerged into the icy-depths of the midwestern winter. Thankfully there hasn't been a significant snowfall as of yet, but it's only a matter of time. After the lengthy, cold and snowy winter from last year, I'm hoping this winter is a little more mild with a little less snow and a little less cold but it's a long-shot. We have notoriously shitty winters in this part of the country and I venture to guess this year will be no different.
I love getting off the train in the morning and seeing all of these people dressed in coats that look like they're made from comforters or sleeping bags that go all the way down to their ankles, with their hoods up, that are almost always covered in fur and pull tightly enough to where only some eyes and a nose are visible. I laugh. It's not even December. The coldest it's been here has been 19 and for Chicago, you might as well as say it's 40 because that isn't shit compared to the kind of cold we get. Winter is dreary and dreadful and though I'm approaching the one year mark of that terrible yet eye-opening break up, I can look back now without regret or worry and with the full knowledge that I'm can do better than that and that I've already started to create a path for myself as to where I want to go.
The thought that there isn't someone that is holding me back, has made it that much easier to find my way forward. It's funny. When I look back to a year ago, I remember wanting to be exactly where he's at with her and knowing he wanted to be exactly where I'm at now, free and alone to figure it out. It's funny how things change like that, how he has the life I wanted and I have his. I'm not jealous anymore about it because I honestly feel I got the better end of this deal. I'm in a position where I'm not being held back by anyone or anything and I'm pushing myself toward the things that I want. It's all relative anyway, I'm just glad that I'm not tied down to a person and a living situation and I'm free to roam wherever in the world. 10 more months before my adventure abroad and I don't see myself coming back to the states for at least 3 years if not longer.
When I fell through the sky with only a thin piece of cloth to save me from certain death, I realized how much is left out there that I haven't had the chance to find. As painful as it was last January, I look forward to putting it all behind me once and for all and taking 2009 as the blank slate that this year was meant to be. It was a blessing in disguise. The final push I needed to realize that I can't let another opportunity pass me by. I tried and failed, 2 and half years putting myself out there without hearing the response of even one 'I love you' and I'm finally seeing just how unfair it really was but I've learned from it and I don't regret my time with him, I just dislike the way it ended.
A regret is a mistake that we haven't learned from and I have learned more over these past 11 months than I ever thought could be possible. I would say thank you but I wouldn't mean it because I did this on my own for once and I have no one to thank, I only have the means to be proud of myself for taking full advantage of what could've been a great loss but turned into a huge gain.
In the not so subtle yet vague news of my life to date, my marathon training has finally broken through. I'm finally getting farther and faster. Thanks in part to the fact that I've quit smoking. It's been over a week since my last cigarette and now that I'm almost at 1 mile of straight running, there is no going back to those things because it feels way too good. I think at the rate that I'm going, I'll hit 1 mile straight within 2 weeks which is incredible not to mention something I didn't think was at all possible. MK is going to talk me through getting to the point where I can train fully aka run at least 5 or 6 miles straight a day. I'm still as determined as I was a month ago when I started, if not moreso, and that marathon in May is looking more and more doable every time I go running. Winter or no winter, I'm going to keep charging forward.
I love getting off the train in the morning and seeing all of these people dressed in coats that look like they're made from comforters or sleeping bags that go all the way down to their ankles, with their hoods up, that are almost always covered in fur and pull tightly enough to where only some eyes and a nose are visible. I laugh. It's not even December. The coldest it's been here has been 19 and for Chicago, you might as well as say it's 40 because that isn't shit compared to the kind of cold we get. Winter is dreary and dreadful and though I'm approaching the one year mark of that terrible yet eye-opening break up, I can look back now without regret or worry and with the full knowledge that I'm can do better than that and that I've already started to create a path for myself as to where I want to go.
The thought that there isn't someone that is holding me back, has made it that much easier to find my way forward. It's funny. When I look back to a year ago, I remember wanting to be exactly where he's at with her and knowing he wanted to be exactly where I'm at now, free and alone to figure it out. It's funny how things change like that, how he has the life I wanted and I have his. I'm not jealous anymore about it because I honestly feel I got the better end of this deal. I'm in a position where I'm not being held back by anyone or anything and I'm pushing myself toward the things that I want. It's all relative anyway, I'm just glad that I'm not tied down to a person and a living situation and I'm free to roam wherever in the world. 10 more months before my adventure abroad and I don't see myself coming back to the states for at least 3 years if not longer.
When I fell through the sky with only a thin piece of cloth to save me from certain death, I realized how much is left out there that I haven't had the chance to find. As painful as it was last January, I look forward to putting it all behind me once and for all and taking 2009 as the blank slate that this year was meant to be. It was a blessing in disguise. The final push I needed to realize that I can't let another opportunity pass me by. I tried and failed, 2 and half years putting myself out there without hearing the response of even one 'I love you' and I'm finally seeing just how unfair it really was but I've learned from it and I don't regret my time with him, I just dislike the way it ended.
A regret is a mistake that we haven't learned from and I have learned more over these past 11 months than I ever thought could be possible. I would say thank you but I wouldn't mean it because I did this on my own for once and I have no one to thank, I only have the means to be proud of myself for taking full advantage of what could've been a great loss but turned into a huge gain.
In the not so subtle yet vague news of my life to date, my marathon training has finally broken through. I'm finally getting farther and faster. Thanks in part to the fact that I've quit smoking. It's been over a week since my last cigarette and now that I'm almost at 1 mile of straight running, there is no going back to those things because it feels way too good. I think at the rate that I'm going, I'll hit 1 mile straight within 2 weeks which is incredible not to mention something I didn't think was at all possible. MK is going to talk me through getting to the point where I can train fully aka run at least 5 or 6 miles straight a day. I'm still as determined as I was a month ago when I started, if not moreso, and that marathon in May is looking more and more doable every time I go running. Winter or no winter, I'm going to keep charging forward.
03 November, 2008
nano - wrimo
It is National Write a Novel Month or nano-wrimo. I tried this once before and only got about 10 pages in, which, without any academic motivation, is a pretty easy deal. I'm starting again though, 2 years afterward and hopefully being successful with it this time around. I'll post whatever it is I end up writing.
Sufficient update:
Knox Homecoming was this past weekend + Halloween. These two events rarely fall on the same weekend but this year, we got lucky. I actually had a wonderful time. I was worried that it wouldn't be too great or it would just be awkward, which I mean, it certainly was but for the most it was just as natural as being back at Knox after summer break. Seeing Ben & Karlina, I couldn't have been more excited. It was so great to see them and spend time with them again and it was also awesome for them to hang out and tell me I was less awkward than everyone else. I like being less awkward than others because usually it's the opposite. Scott came into town too and I was shocked as I'm sure everyone else was, because no one was expecting him so it was awesome to get to see him and actually hang out.
The best way to describe Knox this weekend was that it felt like home again being there and it hasn't felt that way in a very long time. It was nice. The only downside to my weekend, forgetting my book and shoes at Hana's. Being over 700 pages in to 'Atlas Shrugged' and knowing I have only 300 pages left to go and I left it, made me very upset last night while I was waiting for my train which was a half an hour late, and was sold out, and thus it took me til Kewanee wandering about with my things in hand, trying to find a seat. When the conducter did find me a seat, he sat me down next to a very large woman, in a broken seat, who had a baby sitting in her lap who wouldn't stop crying. Needless to say I was irritated as shit but Graham and Sarah saved me, came and got me and we spent the rest of the train ride in the dining car playing card games. I'm not taking the Amtrak again. I like driving too much, carbon footprint or not, it's just too much fun.
As per usual though, I got sick while there. Knox is like a daycare for adults, germs are just passed around constantly. So I feel like ballsac but I have Friday off and I'm not jeapordizing it. I'll sit here hacking up a lung letting snot fly out of my nose and on my computer before I go home or stay home sick. Election Day tomorrow...I'm a nervous wreck and I'm not going to bed til I know Obama won. Time for the weigh-in upstairs. Happy Nano-Wrimo.
Sufficient update:
Knox Homecoming was this past weekend + Halloween. These two events rarely fall on the same weekend but this year, we got lucky. I actually had a wonderful time. I was worried that it wouldn't be too great or it would just be awkward, which I mean, it certainly was but for the most it was just as natural as being back at Knox after summer break. Seeing Ben & Karlina, I couldn't have been more excited. It was so great to see them and spend time with them again and it was also awesome for them to hang out and tell me I was less awkward than everyone else. I like being less awkward than others because usually it's the opposite. Scott came into town too and I was shocked as I'm sure everyone else was, because no one was expecting him so it was awesome to get to see him and actually hang out.
The best way to describe Knox this weekend was that it felt like home again being there and it hasn't felt that way in a very long time. It was nice. The only downside to my weekend, forgetting my book and shoes at Hana's. Being over 700 pages in to 'Atlas Shrugged' and knowing I have only 300 pages left to go and I left it, made me very upset last night while I was waiting for my train which was a half an hour late, and was sold out, and thus it took me til Kewanee wandering about with my things in hand, trying to find a seat. When the conducter did find me a seat, he sat me down next to a very large woman, in a broken seat, who had a baby sitting in her lap who wouldn't stop crying. Needless to say I was irritated as shit but Graham and Sarah saved me, came and got me and we spent the rest of the train ride in the dining car playing card games. I'm not taking the Amtrak again. I like driving too much, carbon footprint or not, it's just too much fun.
As per usual though, I got sick while there. Knox is like a daycare for adults, germs are just passed around constantly. So I feel like ballsac but I have Friday off and I'm not jeapordizing it. I'll sit here hacking up a lung letting snot fly out of my nose and on my computer before I go home or stay home sick. Election Day tomorrow...I'm a nervous wreck and I'm not going to bed til I know Obama won. Time for the weigh-in upstairs. Happy Nano-Wrimo.
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