I felt it

I said that I would post this and I am, though it is against my better judgement.

http://docs.google.com/View?docid=ddxtshkw_6dd9w4j

It's been a painful and bumpy ride and where I once thought I was standing on solid ground, I've come to realize I am not. I also realize how far I've come since being lower than low. I know I repeat myself constantly when I say this but that first year out is the hardest. It also makes you realize how impossible it is to conceive of the future. When someone asks me "what are your plans for the next 5 years, I haven't an answer. I don't know what I want or where I'm going. I know I want to go to Scotland next year but that's about as far as I've gotten.

That's not where I wanted to start this post. I had this thought while I was "creeping" on facebook. I started to think about the mass phenomenon of online networking sites like facebook and myspace and friendster. It just makes me feel that much more solid in my thought that people are just looking for other people. We need social interaction and with the advent of the internet, it's easier then ever to keep in touch and meet new people. Though it can be dangerous, it can be just as dangerous meeting people the "old-fashioned" way. This is not well-thought out but I'm making my point (or so I hope).

Things are so vastly different now than how I had pictured it a year ago and I'm ok with that. I can't say I'm happy though and that's disappointing. But I'm seeing clearly and that matters for something. I like the autumn, it makes things brighter even if the days are shorter.